Tuesday, March 28, 2006

When is it worth it to KILL?

(This happened 28 March 06)

Last night I had a cappuccino. Then I couldn’t sleep until some wee hour of the morning, then I had a bad dream where a fortune teller was telling me my life would be full of sadness and he was so taken in that HE started crying.

So, I couldn’t sleep again and decided heck I’d come to work early. And guess what – on my way in Puchong I got stuck in a long long jam.

Apparently there had been an accident early in the morning and 4 people had died – a colleague saw the bodies on the road (I think she’s got to mandi bunga or something cos this is the umpteenth time she’s seen dead bodies on the road!!!!!!!). Anyway, I came across a poor little kancil all beaten up and smashed and crumpled and folded and cut about. It made me think that which ever poor soul was in there, would have kicked the b*cket for sure!

Of course I don’t know if the kancil was in the wrong, doing something reckless or plain fell asleep OR if it was the innocent party in a road journey gone awry. But it definitely gets me all riled up and I howl ‘UNFAIR’ when I think about the many innocent parties who don’t reach home due to somebody’s selfish, inconsiderate, irresponsible act of mayhem. Why do we not call road terrors terrorists? Because they sure as heck act on purpose and they spread terror and pain and fear like the plague.

Ever since growing older, I’ve had this great fury in me for people who have been wronged – people who have died because someone else couldn’t care less. I wonder if these terrorists feel shame or responsibility or pain? I wonder how the rest of a victim’s life carries on – his family, his friends, his pets, his hobbies, his loves.

I’m still thinking about this and on the way to Cyberjaya when I see a black car zoooooooooooooooooooooming at high speed along the road cutting in and out between cars trying to get to work as soon as he can. He’s just seen the same accident I have but that hasn’t taught him anything or made him realize arriving late to work is nothing compared to never seeing your family again and nothing compared to making somebody else not see their family again.

When will people stop and stare and learn the lesson life is trying to teach them?

Errolyn's Big News!!!

Haiya! It wasn’t frightening at all! Everybody exaggerated about it the fear and the pain and the agony and the indecision (albeit they did also talk about the joy of it) …….and in the end, I just went and said “Yes” and it wasn’t fearful at all!

Wheeeeeee! It was so exciting and I am a bit surprised and not surprised at myself and the swift decision I made. I mean after all, it is a life long commitment! I have always thought about it on and off for some time now and then recently of course, the desire was very strong and I kept telling myself I will just go out and do it. I will just make the decision and commit. Then the desire would ebb but come again, people would talk to me and I would think, ‘hmmmmmm’. But then, one day I woke up and I thought, that’s it! The new Errolyn is going to do things differently from now on, live life more and experience more and my first step towards that – is making this commitment.

Strange and a little ironic – the first step to my ‘freedom’ and experiencing life free as a bird is to make an emphatic decision to be tied down to something for the rest of my life. And it isn’t even a small something!

But I am happy and am now in the throes of wonderment – my first few days of walking on air and checking and looking at it and checking and looking and going ‘mmmmmmm, FINALLY’!!!!!!!!!

I know people are shocked, friends and family – they never thought I’d just jump straight in and do it but I have now and there’s nothing I can do to change it anymore so:



Tuesday, March 14, 2006

When Life is Funny When It Shouldn't Be!

Ok, it is not funny when I see women twice my age ‘jogging’, ‘running’ ‘climbing the hill’ furiously and (it would seem) effortlessly on a stationery bike in a Spinning Class, when I am struggling to continue to keep my legs pumping!

It would look like the only floor space that’s not been rained on by sweat is the radius around my bike! Gosh, 1 hour of spinning is enough to make you lose 3 dinners I’m sure. And moi has to endure it because moi hates the treadmill with a passion. I try and I try, but I can’t sustain the interest in the staid old treadmill when I could be dancing away in Line Dancing, stretching away in Pilates, huffing away in BodyPump or even just plain old working out on the machines……..

I know, I’m running like an old record already with my misadventures in the gym, time to write about something new huh?! Well, before I leave the gym topic, I’ve got two more things to say:

1. Seen a few GOOD LOOKING guys in the gym; but of course way too shy to even really look them in the face!

2. Joke: Conversation trying to introduce a colleague named Jim to my gym,
“So, is Jim with a gym?”
“No, Jim is not with a gym.”
“Oh, is Jim with a Hank then?”

Alrighty then, let’s see what else has happened – petrol price has gone up by a dastardly 30 sen, making me have to sacrifice at least 2 pairs of beautiful shoes a month (I’m sure!).

Discovering and lamenting that grocery shopping for one is painful and self-sacrificing. I can’t buy anything that’s too big or comes in too much quantity – waste not, want not! Once, I couldn’t buy bananas because they came in a full comb and I knew for sure I wouldn’t be able to finish the whole thing before the maggoty enemies came along!

Also, I’m buying loaves of bread that I can’t really finish and I’ve not bought eggs in a carton because I’m trying to buy individual ones from the nearby kedai runcit. It’s so sad!

Anyway, can’t really believe but it’s been 7 months since the fateful day when I became single again – it sounds like such a long time but oddly, it doesn’t feel as long. However, thinking back on some episodes that have occurred since then, it makes me wonder how the heck I lasted so long doing what I did.

Adios for now – stay tuned for the next exciting adventure of (Ta! Ta!!! Ta!!!!!!!) Gym Girl!!!

Btw, planning a really exciting event in my life – rather frightening but definitely exciting! Can’t wait!