Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Excuse Me, Are You From Penang?

Last night I was caught in a traffic jam coming home. It was quite bad and I was trying to ease my way innocently past 2 lanes to get to where I need to be to U-turn…..Now I've been in KL for 7 years and driving around here for ummmm….3? Yeah, I was quite pampered when I first came over - had a boyfriend to fetch me around….NOT that I don't know how to drive! Hahahahaha…But anyway, so with being here for so long and not driving around back home much anymore, I've become accustomed to the way KL/Selangor people drive.

They're quite nice here! People use their signal lights, hardly honk and are quite happy to wait while you urgently need to stop and manoeuver yourself into a parking lot or while you drop off a 108 year old grandmother who cannot get out of the car on her own…..I always think, wow! In Penang you'd never 'hear' this happen. Everyone would be honking if they even detected a slowing down of your car - you know that moment when you take your foot off the gas pedal and just before you start to depress the brake pedal? Yeah then!

And going back to my story, I started inching my way across and was let through by considerate kind KL/Selangor drivers when I realise hey, this 'poor man's big car' of an MPV…..don't know what brand lah, one of those bigger but not big enough ones…..definitely not a Harrier or a BMW X5 cos I would have recognised those…..but anyway, I realised he wasn't going to let me through. HE HONKED AT ME - BLARED AT ME!!! And so being the person that I am, I doubled my efforts to get in…..and then I thought, aiya, what the heck! So I let him go past. And lo and behold! When I get behind him - I see his number plate is PGG!!!!! AIYO!!!!

I immediately thought, you little man who feels he needs to edge me out so he can be the car in front of me!!! And so being from Penang, he didn't know that the lane he was on (yes, the very same lane I was trying to get into) led to a U-turn. It was relatively empty and Mr Little zoomed ahead probably laughing at all the silly sods lined up at the other lanes. Suddenly he realised it was a U-turn lane and braked and tried to get back into queue in the next lane and since he kinda just a wee bit obstructed my path, of course I had to HONK at him! Heheheheheheh

That was my adventure with Penang drivers - I realise that they are the worst drivers in the whole of Malaysia, besides when you get to the rich man's areas like Sri Hartamas and Bangsar where they think they can park anywhere, the poor man's areas like Jalan Ipoh where they think they can stop anywhere, the Malay kampungs where they ride 15 bikes abreast all without helmets but umbrellas instead and uhhhh,….in Taiping where apparently, a friendly man can stop his car in the middle of the road to wave to and chit chat with a long lost friend on the other side of the road!!!! Hahahahaahahah!!!!!

Honestly though. I think Penang drivers have atrocious manners, they only care for themselves. No one is allowed to stop haphazardly but themselves. No one is allowed to take up 2 parking spaces but themselves. God save the man who does not rev and zoom off the instant the traffic light turns green - the cacophony behind you would have you thinking you had lucked out on a first row ticket at a Pearl Jam concert! And definitely, most definitely, not even your mother would forgive you if you tried to change lines…which is why in Penang, one does not use one's signal lights - it's the most sure fire way to stop you from ever changing lanes!!!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Errolyn Meets Frank Sinatra.

We had never met before, albeit with all his fame and my interest in the oldies! But one fateful night, at a pasar stall in SS2 (!!!!) I was introduced to him. A simple black and white image of him stared back at me, smiling debonairly and confidently, whispering to me to 'just take' him. Who could resist and I had always heard of his effect on people…..even without the blue eyes, I just had to!

He got popped into the player and soon, his low mellow voice filled the car - singing 'Fly Me To The Moon' and 'Moon River' and the like. It was quite magical, I wonder what a superior sound system would have been able to do to his music. I didn't get to enjoy it too much cos we were talking in the car but the soothing timbre of his voice could melt a girl's heart entirely too easily, I warn you. So guys - Play Frank and I guarantee you…..With the right ambience and the right lighting, the world could be your oyster if you know how to do it right!

The other guy I can think of who can do this is Barry White - yes, he of the 'Ally McBeal' fame! I seem to have a thing for men with deep voices and who speak with that special languid sensuality without sounding lazy (……lazy just pisses me off!) ….and no, Louis Armstrong does NOT speak with sensuality!