Friday, October 26, 2007

The Baby Blues

Oooh, Sookie is pregnant! It’s so exciting – I finally have a close friend who is here in Malaysia when the process of growing the baby is happening right in front of my eyes.

Last night we met for dinner and she is really unaccustomed to ‘not seeing her toes’ as I put it, but truth be told, the bump isn’t all that big yet, she’s just not used to not being skinny! :)

I love feeling baby bumps – and they really feel different as compared to just a big tummy. They are more taut and just that little bit harder. Of course, my dad’s tummy is hard too – wonder why…..

But I digress, the main reason why I’m so excited about this baby is because it’s happening for the first time to her and I love her, she is a very close and dear friend ….or maybe I’m just ecstatic cos it’s novel….Anyway, she is experiencing all the tiredness and lethargy and nausea that usually plagues new mothers. I never knew it was so tiring but I can hear it in her voice and I can see it in her body. She goes home after work and sleepssss, I never knew new mothers did that.

She has gained some weight, or so she says but doesn’t quite have the appetite – the poor girl couldn’t even finish her dinner! I reassured her that after the first trimester, she’d probably stop throwing up and eating everything in sight!

I wonder what it would be like to have a child, to have a baby growing inside you. I have sometimes put my hands on my round belly, trying to visualise and emote. I think it’s a miracle cos it’s something you and your partner made together – a true symbol of love and commitment (yeah, let’s forget the ‘accidents’ though I know a lot of you will say, "A child is God’s gift" but honestly mate, not EVERYONE thinks so, so let’s be realistic here ya!) And then the carrying the baby for months, developing it and then out it pops! Yes, I AM simplifying it somewhat….

But basically that’s the part that is alright, the part that scares me is when the child starts growing up, turns 2 for example, I really have no idea how I would educate a child, how do I teach him manners, compassion, kindness, honesty, consideration, empathy, joy, responsibility, style,….

It is the largest job in the world and so many people can so easily/do so easily get it wrong. There is such a fine line between education and pressure but sometimes a little pressure is good. There is a fine line between giving and spoiling but sometimes a little spoiling is good. So how do I know I’ve got the right mix and the right stuff? Does daddy’s style clash with mine, do I always have to play the disciplinarian? I know for sure my style would have been different from my ex’s and I wonder what that would have brought about – but then I also thought we would have talked it out and decided together on a course of action/strategy/technique. But who knows????

This is a fear I always have, what if your son grows up and turns into a Mat Rempit, what if your daughter is one of those hanging out with Mat Rempits at Damansara Uptown at 2.30am in the morning? How do you bring them back to the right side? It’s way too difficult and I am not sure the ROI is good!

I think I will stick to feeling friends' bumps for now!

P.S. Last night I had banana leaf rice and after dinner, with my hands on my belly, I seriously felt as 2 month pregnant as my friend! :)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

My Heart is Where My Home Is

Well! In March/April I ‘boasted’ that I was very free and was able to post entries almost every day! Then I ran into a patch of work which kept me busy til now!

And the patch of work was/is…….…….my new house is ready!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I bought a condominium in KL and waited for handover of keys, and waited for defect rectification and renovated and cleaned and delivered new items and moved in!!!!!!!!! Ahahhaahhaha!! Can’t believe it – I have been living in for 1 month now and am still very enamoured with it. When I do think about it, I get this swelling feeling of pride that ‘THIS’ is mine, all mine, bought by MY hard earned money and furnished by mine and some other people’s hard earned money! Hahahahahahaa

But it’s just gorgeous, I so wish I could take pictures and show everyone – it’s like a gorgeous resort with palm trees and a beautiful fa├žade and a completely breathtaking pool! I have a unit facing the pool so each morning when I have time before work, I stand on my large balcony and look down at my awesome cerulean blue pool drinking my lovely glass of OJ!

This is the LIFE! And my mattress – mmmmm….I didn’t buy a REALLY expensive one, only RM1900 but god damn does it do its job. It is wonderfully supportive yet tender (much like a man should be) firm and soft in the right places. And of course my crazily expensive bed linens (bought at sale time from SOGO yet costing me RM800 for 4 sets) just add to the enjoyment. I’m telling you, there are some very very nice designs while my Ikea bedsheet that costs RM89 for only 1 piece of bedsheet is so silky smooth – those of you who enjoy these things in life should definitely get that one!

My curtains are sewn by Kamdar but I didn’t use their contractor to put up the curtain rods cos that would have set me back a cool RM1k!!!!!!!! Blame me for liking the look of metal rods instead of cheaper aluminium tracks. So grand ole’ mummy put them up for me! Yup – you read right, My mum lugged down her friend’s drill from Penang and gamely installed all curtain rods for the house in 2 days! (Rods bought from Ikea!)

And of course, mum said of dad that only at his daughter’s house will he land a hand on a broom and mop! That was dad’s forte, sweeping, mopping and cleaning the windows! And dear sis of course was a mighty organiser. I was confident in leaving to her the most important task of getting some contractors to put up my big big bathroom mirror. It wasn’t easy cos of course when I put up the stickers denoting the spots for the screws into the TILE(!!!!), I hadn’t measured and I forgot to tell her, so my eyes are a bit cock-eyed I guess cos the screws came out a wee bit senget! But she handled it – gave them a wonderful suggestion and they got to it!
Only during my house moving, have I ever given any Malaysian a tip in my life. It was also during puasa month so the poor Malay boys and men were really tired out I’m sure though they didn’t show it. There were some of them who complained to me about the strict security about them entering, parking, unloading…..well, I guess they don’t understand that THAT’s what any owner would want! Strict Security! I am not paying so many hundreds of ringgit a month for any ole’ axe murderer to walk in!!!!

For those of you planing to renovate and move house, please note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Expenditure is sure to burst your budget unless you have, UNlike me, researched for years on end and know the exact price of each item.

Timelines are sure to burst your project plan NO MATTER how much you plan. (Moi had a Gantt chart and a checklist – good theorectically but still didn’t ensure the deliverymen came on time/or in some cases, came at all!!!!!!!)

If you get the two above straight in your head, you’ll be fine, no false expectations anywhere!

Other notes:

Do not expect a perfect house – there will ALWAYS be defects, now how anal you wanna get about defect rectification is up to you but do ensure that big costly important defects ARE handled by the developer to an acceptable level of quality. However, do note that if you want everything to be perfect, expect that your house will be handed back to you in 3 years time, with some defects STILL in place! Or….new ones I might add!

Also, I practised the philosophy of not screaming and shouting at contractors who know Mafia guys who could target me or my unit or practise black voodoo on me!

DO know who to complain to cos barking up the wrong tree just wastes time and makes you enemies – actually make friends with them! I seem to have had the good luck of having a good maintenance office manager. So far, he’s never let me down! I also must have been good in my past life as the developer’s contractor actually told me to call on him if I needed anything else done. I like to think it was because of my pretty face………hahahaha, no. I’d like to think it’s because I treated them with respect and understanding. That DOES NOT go though for the big money grabbing companies (read developers) – those you have to rant persistently and follow up with official legal letters! DO NOT let them walk all over you.

I do have one gripe though – irresponsible residents. God knows the number of times I’ve seen people drive up the wrong direction on a car park ramp just so they save on driving around (time and petrol)….and it shames me that a lot of "I will please me" behaviours come from P plates – as in Penang drivers!

Another example is of course that some people can’t be bothered to open up the lid of the dustbin to actually dump their garbage in, cos’ what’s the floor for if you actually use the dustbin?????

But otherwise, so far everyone’s quite friendly, some are a little TOO friendly cos no, I don’t wanna tell you my floor and unit number!!! Duh!!!! But generally good!

Although – I still prefer a steam room to a sauna! ;)