Ya I know - it's a condition called 'LaZiness'......I have so much to say - I was just thinking about it on the drive home from work today - it's why Twitter was created cos people were too lazy to login into Blogger everytime they felt they had something to say about the world! Well, at the very least, I'm not someone who has the computer on 24x7 - so coming home and logging on just to stare at yet ANOTHER computer is not relaxing or a passion I want to exercise at home.....hence so many of my valuable 10-sen thoughts are gone with the wind!
Was listening to my Ipod on the drive home (see! I'm ALL woman - I multitask on my drives home!) and I just realise that I really like Taylor Swift - I think she is very pretty and I really enjoy the songs she sings - albeit, the few I know seem to sound a bit the same but still - they make me move my head and the lyrics and jingles stick in my mind. I notice though that she seems to have very good breath control - she sings non-stop....reminds me of when Celine Dion tried out 'Treat Her Like A Lady' and asked, "When do I breathe????". Heeheh hahaha
OOooh, hubby will be back in town tomorrow morning - tomorrow morning we will be breathing the same Malaysian air!!!! Woo hoo!!!! This is the longest we've been apart - or so I've been telling everybody....sometimes I wonder if people get sick of me when I start to say, "my hus....." or "my in-la...." They probably yawn under the cover of ....food or tudung or something!
Hubby being away though gave me food for thought on the topic of fidelity. It's no fun being all afraid of someone being unfaithful to you - all that worry, suspicion, hurt, frustration, rage, non-understanding of why ANYONE much less someone who professes to love you would do something so horrible to you! I can't imagine partners who actually catch their other halves red-handed with someone else! Oh.My.God!!!!! I am sure some people will say it's cowardly or just say it's plain wrong -me, I can't even find a word for it! It's so BEYOND wrong, hurtful, irresponsible, callous, cruel, selfish, arrogant, etc. etc. etc.
Well, I don't think JH would intentionally hurt me or shame me this way, lay to waste all that I ever felt for him, did for him, sacrificed for him, planned for him - but him being away just gave rise to those feelings you know - like "What IF you didn't know your man was cheating on you?" Mum-in-law and I were chatting about how a woman always knows - but somehow.....I don't think so.....(weird since I was the one who actually SAID 'a woman always knows').
I can say one thing, the one time I was cheated (?) on, I didn't know. Either he was a darn good liar - which is possible since now I know there are so many things I didn't know about before, or I was just too blind and arrogant. Notwithstanding the fact that I WAS under a great deal of stress at the time, a very emotional time but I didn't expect it, and as such, I didn't see it I think. That's why, I am nervy that perhaps one day too, I might miss the signs with JH. I can hear him denouncing cheating this right now but like I always say, ONE NEVER KNOWS!! There are no guarantees and there are no insurance policies (if you wanna love right) so, I guess we just have to take the plunge and risk it huh? But OOOH, when the heart breaks, I can tell you.....it changes your perception of everything!
I think I can write about it quite easily now even though I can't quite convey the heartache and trauma one goes through but at that time, I'm telling you - there isn't quite anything like it. And being a female, of course, every conversation and behaviour runs through your mind like a million times and a million times again just to re-check or validate or try to excuse what you reasoned out.....It's a dark dark time.
But like I wrote about several years before - there are ways to see the end of the tunnel so no SON OF A ....... is worth dying for.
AIyo, I didn't set out to write something like this - don't know how it got here!
Let's see what else do I wanna talk about.....Citeebank is not very user friendly - I don't like them. Everytime I use them I remember why I scrapped their credit cards before. My electricity bill is, for the second time, being 'dibiayai oleh Kerajaan Malaysia' - yup - because I'm such a good blogger, the Govt of Malaysia is paying my electricity bill. I'm.....hungering for some time away - with hubby.....ummmm....I wanna go watch Victor/Victoria in Singapore at the end of the year. ummmm...I love Atilia, our home grown singer but I can't find any of her songs on Limewire or any of her albums......
Oh! YES! A MAJOR GRIPE! Project Runway is now NOT AVAILABLE on Youtube! NOT AVAILABLE! The horror!!! Due to licensing!!!! How am I going to watch the seasons then?????? AHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I stopped at Season 3 some more! AIyoyoyo......Recently I caught Amazing Race on tv which I've not watched for ages....seems interesting again! So, ...ahem ahem......