Friday, October 26, 2007

The Baby Blues

Oooh, Sookie is pregnant! It’s so exciting – I finally have a close friend who is here in Malaysia when the process of growing the baby is happening right in front of my eyes.

Last night we met for dinner and she is really unaccustomed to ‘not seeing her toes’ as I put it, but truth be told, the bump isn’t all that big yet, she’s just not used to not being skinny! :)

I love feeling baby bumps – and they really feel different as compared to just a big tummy. They are more taut and just that little bit harder. Of course, my dad’s tummy is hard too – wonder why…..

But I digress, the main reason why I’m so excited about this baby is because it’s happening for the first time to her and I love her, she is a very close and dear friend ….or maybe I’m just ecstatic cos it’s novel….Anyway, she is experiencing all the tiredness and lethargy and nausea that usually plagues new mothers. I never knew it was so tiring but I can hear it in her voice and I can see it in her body. She goes home after work and sleepssss, I never knew new mothers did that.

She has gained some weight, or so she says but doesn’t quite have the appetite – the poor girl couldn’t even finish her dinner! I reassured her that after the first trimester, she’d probably stop throwing up and eating everything in sight!

I wonder what it would be like to have a child, to have a baby growing inside you. I have sometimes put my hands on my round belly, trying to visualise and emote. I think it’s a miracle cos it’s something you and your partner made together – a true symbol of love and commitment (yeah, let’s forget the ‘accidents’ though I know a lot of you will say, "A child is God’s gift" but honestly mate, not EVERYONE thinks so, so let’s be realistic here ya!) And then the carrying the baby for months, developing it and then out it pops! Yes, I AM simplifying it somewhat….

But basically that’s the part that is alright, the part that scares me is when the child starts growing up, turns 2 for example, I really have no idea how I would educate a child, how do I teach him manners, compassion, kindness, honesty, consideration, empathy, joy, responsibility, style,….

It is the largest job in the world and so many people can so easily/do so easily get it wrong. There is such a fine line between education and pressure but sometimes a little pressure is good. There is a fine line between giving and spoiling but sometimes a little spoiling is good. So how do I know I’ve got the right mix and the right stuff? Does daddy’s style clash with mine, do I always have to play the disciplinarian? I know for sure my style would have been different from my ex’s and I wonder what that would have brought about – but then I also thought we would have talked it out and decided together on a course of action/strategy/technique. But who knows????

This is a fear I always have, what if your son grows up and turns into a Mat Rempit, what if your daughter is one of those hanging out with Mat Rempits at Damansara Uptown at 2.30am in the morning? How do you bring them back to the right side? It’s way too difficult and I am not sure the ROI is good!

I think I will stick to feeling friends' bumps for now!

P.S. Last night I had banana leaf rice and after dinner, with my hands on my belly, I seriously felt as 2 month pregnant as my friend! :)

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