Friday, June 16, 2006

A Red the Chinese say....

On Wed I attended a friend’s wedding. You know how people always say weddings are joyous occasions and how it’s fantastic that two people are now joined in their love for eternity in the eyes of God and Country? Well, this was truly a wedding epitomizing the sentiment – and I’m not being a mushy cry baby (the way I usually am… at weddings….)

This was a simple beautiful ceremony with lots of white roses and the bride swathed in a luxurious cream and maroon brocade sari which sparkled with the lights. Although none of them sparkled more brightly than the bride. Her relief when sitting down on the stage was apparent – it came out as a deep breath and a look of : “Aaah, I’m finally here”. And then the Shania Twain song, “You’re Still The One” starts playing and I immediately find my throat constricting and the tears pooling.

It helps when you know the history of the couple – especially this one who have been together for 10 years and finally getting to the altar was a big momentous giant step for them, the family, the friends and even the Bahai’ community. As the father of the groom said, “So many delegations have come to us to ask for this union to happen”. It is always joyously heartening to finally have a union happen.

Marriage isn’t always good. I have seen so many marriages fall apart and I firmly believe it is because the parties involved did not put in as much as they wanted out of it. Many a time, naïvete fools individuals in love into thinking that love is enough to make a marriage work – it isn’t!

Marriage is WORK and you better believe it. Marriage is also RISK and no one can guarantee that it will be good. What can be promised is that you will work at it. It’s too easy to give up nowadays – divorce lawyers abound, ‘friends’ who are looking to ‘help’ you out, impatient parents. It could all very well be well-meaning but sometimes married people just need a good kick in the ass!!!!!!!! Wake up and look at what you’ve made your marriage into – oftentimes a JOKE, that’s what it is!

You promise to love and honour and (ahem) share mutual decisions with another human being; if you haven’t been doing that 120%, then the marriage falling apart is YOUR fault! Do not blame others!

But when a love (and all the other parts of a successful marriage like respect, admiration, humour, chemistry, passion etc) is good, then Marriage is wonderful! Granted, I have not really come across a rarity such as this but I’m sure it is good. Even though I have not experienced a good marriage, but I have experienced good loves.

So, coming back to my initial story – This was one wedding where the love of the couple and their family and friends was so apparent, it would have been a shame not to have shed a few tears of joy for them. It was also touching that there could have been a hall of at least 80 people who were overjoyed that this couple could finally be together to build a life and a family. So many people can’t be wrong if they believe that your love is true and you are (nothing as tacky as being meant to be together) the best possible match for each other.

Mmmmmm……I feel it again now.

Congratulations Jothee and Taraz! My bestest wishes with you.

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